LuSea Bee | m. Magna Carta, Lonely Grail
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m. Magna Carta, Lonely Grail

“I’m getting married!” – My heart sunk.

That week was going great. I’d passed an exam on a Monday. Got reconfirmed for my summer job on a Tuesday. Found a place to stay in my Uni’s city on a Wednesday. So it only seemed right I had a shameless intake of chocolate for the rest of the week – I binge watched Luther, heavy Idris Elba oogling duties for the culture.

“Do you wanna come?” – My heart did a 180°.

I was turning 25 and the need to be more than what I’d been kept me up at night.  Few months later, lots has changed but that feeling is still as strong. The need for ideas and taking territories, like Pastor Sam Adeyemi had preached months before, was intense…still is. Growth is a force to reckon with, a no holds barred moving locomotive, a necessary ride you need to hop on in life.

“So? I’m not joking, I’m really getting married.” – What? How niccuh? Why??!

So, when he told me via Messenger video call “I’m getting married, do you want to come?”, I really didn’t know what to say. I thought the shitty Wi-fi at the library was playing pranks.

We’ve known each other for 8 years but we’d never met. It was one of those friendships that simply worked, regardless of the others’ absence, you know?  We’d talk for hours about everything and anything and nothing. The sun would rise bright in his country whilst I was fast approaching the heart of the night in mine, still, it felt like we were in the same room. Lovers. Friends. Partners. Foes. When we kinda fell apart and tried to get back to talking terms, the bond still managed to stay intact…ish.

When he repeated for the umpteenth time: “I’m getting married”, I blacked out. I don’t know, It wasn’t jealousy, now I know.  It was just weird ‘cause I hadn’t realised how much growing we’d been doing at every “ode ni e” “you don chop today?” and “pele o” “happy birthday” and “good morning/night jare”. I was pissed that when our weird relationship came to an abrupt halt (my fault), life had continued and he’d moved on to an interesting phase in his life and I wasn’t there. Things had switched up so fast, blink and you will miss it kinda situation. When it finally dawned on me that my bestie had found his supposed “missing rib”, I made sure I didn’t fuck up the one glorious impromptu homework he gave me on his wedding day – a playlist for the reception. I’m sure I did a shite work but I’d never been so proud to pick out tracks, be proud of someone and honoured to be part of such a thing of beauty like their union – all at once.

I’m 25 now and every other night I debate what I should have for dinner and how I should put together my study plan for the next day while loads of my friends are doing different things in their lives. I need more, not a marriage (hi mom, sorry mom!), just more and I just don’t know how to get there.

Don’t blink. Don’t..

PSA:  Shaggy’s “Hot Shot” album, still 3 dynamites and a mine.

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